Small panics and increasing excitement!

I'm having a small panic. In this moment I'm deciding to stop; leaving behind me the packing paraphernalia and unwashed dishes and choosing to allow the kids to watch TV, for the length of a cup of tea, in a bid to slow the pace of movement and noise around me. I'm putting the kettle on and trying to settle my disquieted spirit. 

When we knew Jason would have a sabbatical this year we discussed our options of where to go and what to do. I had recently been released from a period of fairly serious depression and was feeling brave and adventurous, so when it came down to deciding on the familiar continent of North America or Asia, I placed my vote in the unknown (to me) country of Vietnam. 

All these months later, our to-do list seems to get longer as our time gets shorter. Packing, sorting, storing, cleaning, visa applications, vaccinations, sorting out passport issues and car troubles, juggling finances, planning ahead (not my forte), organising school work, booking flights...etc. We have an official date of departure, three weeks tomorrow, June 28th - the day after our 13th wedding anniversary. I want to see people before I go, I want to save up time spent with friends who've become family feeling that it'll not be so hard to be away if I use this time well before we go.

I'm not good on focussing on lots of things at once. While I'm worrying about leaving our 'friend family' and my 'church family' I'm not focussing on being excited on what's to come in the months ahead. I am happy to have trusted friends who aren't scared to just say what they think. When I get over the initial pinprick of offence at the insinuation that this is a trip of 'privilege,' and realise that of course she is right, this IS a trip most people don't make - certainly not with the tribe of kids we've collected - I can re-focus away from small panics and look forward with excitement and gratefulness for what's to come.

I have a favourite verse from the Bible that I couldn't always claim to be true of me, but I've found that it has grown on me. It's from the oft-misunderstood chapter of Proverbs 31 and reads, "She is clothed with dignity and strength and she laughs without fear of the future." If you know me, you know I like to laugh. I love finding humour in every situation, even stressful ones, but I do find it hard to laugh in the face of the unknown. To do that I find I must first find peace in my soul and trust that, whatever our tomorrows bring, we will be given grace and wisdom enough to handle it (and find the humour in it!)

We hope to write semi-regularly as we travel to keep a record of what we've been up to and keep anyone who's interested informed. 

My tea is finished. The baby needs to go for his nap, I need to carry on packing and direct the kids back to school work but I want to take this opportunity to say publicly that we are SO grateful for our trusted friend Chinh and her family. They've been so willing to help make this a much easier transition as we prepare to visit their beautiful country and are providing invaluable help and advice. Thank you! 

Deb Xx